SHAPE UP! 1/11/06

Just don’t sit there, every second the world’s gravity is playing hell with your body. I don’t have to tell you that you’re buying clothes a size or three larger than a few years back. The wall mirror doesn’t lie - tough isn’t it? Well, shape up, that’s what I think I am going to do!

There is something else that happens when the Twinkies are unwrapped. It’s inside, and after several decades of having a second donut and double serving of butter on movie popcorn, I heard something pop several months ago. It was inside my chest and it wasn’t a shirt button.

Don’t try to tell me that it only happens to other guys, the folks that are out of shape, over weight inactive frogs who occupy time and space. That slug who can sit through three NFL games back to back to back eating chips & dip could be you or I.

I thought I was the exception. I watched my food intake, got my rest and did some moderate work outs… I thought I was a good boy and this good boy’s blood system failed, I was lucky. I now have a new front zipper and it’s not on a pair of Gucci pants.

My plumbing has been rerouted and I am thankful that the SILVER BULLET just missed. Three or four days a week for 50 minutes I look like an overweight AARP member on a treadmill chasing a 5 pound wedge of Swiss cheese. My News Year’s resolution is to get into a my size 36” Gucci 1975 bellbottoms, any bets??