#5 travelogue ….ON TOUR 2/4/06

Another year of the PGA, the Professional Golf Association, is now under way. The players start with a thing they call the West Coast Tour. They start playing golf in the Hawaiian Islands for several weeks then head into southern California and Arizona. This occurs while we poor folks are swinging snow shovels and not golf clubs. However we have the answer.

We call it the southern loop. No, it’s not a plane ride to Florida or Alabama to play golf for a week. Oh no, that would be too easy. Our southern tour is a simple car ride down the road for afternoon/early eve socializing. First we hire a caddie, a designated driver, fasten our seat belts and crash helmets, then head south in the general direction of the nearest saloon.

Normally it’s a place called Whitman’s. After saying hello to the regulars for half an hour, we head to an electronic marvel, a Golden Tee machine. For three bucks a person you can get in a round of golf at various courses designed by some very devious person. The machine lets you choose a club and swing type, hook or slice. You can even putt on the greens, fantastic.

All the rules of golf apply and are seldom followed especially by your opponents. The object is to kick butt while having a few brews before hitting the road for the next stop. There are around 6 to 8 “next” stops each with it’s own drawing card.

One next place has an electric hunting game where you blast ducks off the wall. Another place is called Idle Hours Resort (Bar), a very appropriate name for idle people. Another place is run by the Adams family. Literally, it’s scary. All the characters from the TV show are there, even Lurch the bar tender.

To play on our tour there is no qualifying nor do you need a Tour card from the PGA, just bring your wallet (or purse).