No, I don't send along....

stuff from other peoples e-mails but seeing it is the giving season and not far from
April 15th,our happry IRS day, here's one...

Dear Internal Revenue Service:
Enclosed you will find my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

Old Hardware the SAC Museum 4/25

Not only is my garage filled "old stuff" but our house is stuffed with old stuff. Iam not the only pack rat in the midwest. Several weeks ago we was in Omaha visiting family and I talked my boy into wasting a morning with me. We traveled west on I-80 half way to Lincoln and there in a big corn field stands the SAC museum. It loaded with old flying stuff.

SAC was a part of the Air Force deciated to blowing the crap out of the world when we were all in that mind set. You walk into this modern building and are amazed at all the old air planes mostly bombers for that’s how people use to blow the crap out of the world. There is a huge glass entryway and hanging from the ceiling is a Blackbird SR71. It's an amazing site. The plane almost has better lines than Rosebud. Just walking under it you could see way the Russians didn’t have a clue.

Then inside were the old war hawks - a B25, B17, B29 then there their two prizes a B36 and a B52. There were so many B’s I began looking for a hive. Anyway, I was spell bound for I am an old plane buff. The two of us walked around and through the open bomb bays looking at the advances in techno military hardware. It’s also what my son does for a living…flying in these newer things.

It's further amazing the progress we have made. We now have planes that fly without pilots. Soon will have wars without people. Just think of it as a big video game.
today's one line... " Friends may come and go... but enemies accumulate "

In closing… 4/21

How do you part company with others? In some cases it’s hard to say good bye. If it’s a positive parting even harder. Even in a negative situation it’s still a matter of good form to try and part positively instead of throwing somebody the bird. In letters we us "sincerely yours , or truly yours" as closers.

This is pure B.S. But it’s hard to close a letter by telling the a person to kiss off, showing our true feelings. Even though we’d like to - I. E. “and furthermore Mr. Electric Utility you can take your amps and stick it…. signed …Yours truly Fred Brown..” No, No. quite bad form for you can read right through intent. For the power company is not going to come to your home to fix your power line that a tree took out on the last big blow… you must use the positive approach...

“I would sincerely appreciate it if you would send your repair crew would fix our downed lines as the governor will be stay with us this evening, my brother the governor, the Hon’able Ralph Waldo Smedberg, I remain in you debt , Sincerely….” Sell the sugar! A double hit of sugar. Instead try this “ listen you fat ass desk jocky get off your lazy end and get the juice flowing, I can’t miss Wheel of Fortune. Signed one dead beat. “
If non of the above works, just tell them you attorney is filling suite.
OK, get the point ? So sign off with smiles instead of ’ kiss off. Smiles.

Go fish…
Once again the bug has bitten. The sun is getting higher in the sky and the maple sap is running. The thick blood is thinning. Slowly the ground is starting to show its ugly bare head and it’s as bald as mine. The snowmobiles are being put away and guys are out fixing their fishing rigs.
Spring and dead fish are in the air.

Once again it’s the call of the wild that is if fish could howl. I maybe rushing it a bit but it’s approach is like that of the golf season… ya- just can’t wait. Next week I’ll drive south a couple hours and hit a driving range maybe a golf course just to get ahead of the guys up here. Then there is hauling the boat over to one of the rivers and send an afternoon on the water. All this sounds neat but requires getting off my lead bottom.

Both of these intend outing are a possibility that is if I get my act together. However, its getting a little harder each year (getting off my bottom). Somehow if I had three of four other good buddies bitten as well, a group project might get off the ground. The old saying is correct …
the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Do you have any 8’s? No, go fish!

Don’t make waves… poly sci
(another political blog?)

The majority of Germans were not at fault, the majority of the Chinese’s were not at fault, the majority of the Japanese were not at fault, the majority of the Russians were not at fault… yet all these nations sat back and let massive genocide happen not wanting to raise a fuss. Each were to busy within themselves.

Now we have something else occurring, a major religion of the world Islam is looking the other way while it allows genocide within and without its people. All for the love of GOD. This madness will continue and there isn’t a world leader that can stop it for this time it’s not political nor economic. This time for all about “religion”. Isn’t it time religious leaders to put aside their pettiness and band together and apply pressure where it belongs… on Arabian states and the Swiss banks? For sure countries and their leaders aren’t going to raise hell about the present killing for that might jeopardize their quota of black gold.

Who is right and who is wrong does not matter, what’s wrong is the shameless killing. All we have to do is to pull out of Iraq and the killing within that country’s factions would make the last two war look tame… and that’s just Iraq and doesn’t deal with the bad boys at play in other countries. I think if we showed these kind folks a picture of the forty virgins in heaven that they get to mess with then they wouldn’t strap bombs on themselves.


At one time there was a United Nations but now its in name only… at one time there was a thing called Nato… but its in name only… at one time there was the World Bank… it’s still there but what’s it doing? not enough to help the human condition. It’s like our congress that only acts POST FACTO… we have 3 people that want to be the next president…not one has come up with “THE PLAN”. It’s all finger pointing.

Maybe James Monroe had it right, let’s make sure thing are in order in our own hemisphere first. Why does the U.S. have to be the only policeman in the world? What you just read is my personal opinion - if you don’t like perhaps you are wrong?

Timing… Investing 101- part b

A couple of blogs back was about buying high, selling low. Over the course of the last 5 decades I’ve made it a habit of timing the market swings in the wrong direction. (I am not alone) It seems like it runs in the family. For us want to be millionaires I think I’ve a have come up with the NEXT CAN”T MISS.

I’ve decided to start an investment letter service just like a pal of mine. However, this one will be unique! How? I’ll have the usual disclaimer that I am not response for the thousand upon thousands that you could loss and I’ll take credit for the millions that you are going to make. Just like the other PROS.

But here’s the twist… when I make a suggestion like take a left, you take a right, when I say buy you sell. When I say oil you think chocolate. When I am into corn you’re into silver. Puts and calls? Who cares? I’ve also decided to hire an additional consultant, J. Fred Muggs. He’s come out of retirement from the Milwaukee Zoo. He will be the dart thrower seeing I have a bad arm and my eye sight isn’t what it use to be.

I’ll even do some illegal trading for you that is if you will not tell… I'll trade you Marvin's Garden for Park Place. Yes, Easy Street is right around the next corner, wait a minute... that’s a one way street heading down and we're all headed in the wrong direct. Or a great deal of what see, is what we are looking. for...

Where ‘d I put it?

“Damn it Wobbin! Where are they?
‘Where’s what Dave?’
You know!
‘Know what?’
It’s my glasses I set them down in the boat and they’re gone.”
Dave was trying to tie on a new fishing hook on his line and was lost without his cheaters. I said -putting him on,
“Gee, Dave I didn’t want to tell you but I thought I saw them slip out of your pocket and went overboard.” However, \his sunglasses were sitting as plan a day on the top of his head and I had to string him along. It’s what friends are for.

“You know we could call Francie and she could bring out your spare pair.” This would require using a cell phone in the middle of no where to replace his "misplaced" eye glasses that were sitting on top of his head!


Don’t tell me you haven’t done the same thing… misplacing something that turns out to be so obvious as the nose on your face. It’s either a wallet, purse or the ever lost car keys. You hunt for hours as panic sets in swearing under and over your breath. Then finally you take a moment and retrace your prior steps and bingo, the damned thing shows up.

I then pointed to the top of Dave’s head and bingo Dave found his glasses as well as a awe, gee, whiz look that came over his face.

The thing is I lost something yesterday. Most things you lose are small important item i.e. car keys but this was large and of importance. It was a large wood splitting maul. I use it daily making small stuff out of big stuff. It would be like you losing tooth brush, you're lost without it. I just remembered where my maul is...it's outside under 8” of new snow. gad someone has to sot that groundhog!

Oh well, my maul will show up by itself this spring just like Dave’s glasses.

Pass it along…
Yesterday something hit me… no it wasn’t bird droppings, I was in church and someone in the pew behind coughed and something landed on the back of my neck. Yes, it was a mess and later the person that did it was very red faced when we shock hands offering one another the peace and I gave him back the thing in a used Kleenex.

This got me thinking, a very dangerous event that happens once or twice a year… for as we wonder through life we ourselves pass along other things. Most of the time these are positive things but sometimes not. Ugly germs are not positive but a wide smile or a used Smedberg joke is very positive. So today I am trying something… I am keeping score. No, I am not that bored. I just wanted to see how many good or positive things happen to me today compared to bad or negatives things.

If you have a bad hair day going then ALL events of the day seem bad. However, if you have just got out of a barber chair or beauty shop there is no excuse for a had hair day. Or if you’re a bald eagle like yours truly you’ re on neutral ground. Tomorrow why not try it yourself? the counting that is.

I know what you’re thinking… ”What a waste of time.” But it’s my time to waste and it seems I now have a bit of it. There is only one problem, this calls for a judgment on my part for what may seem good to you may be bad in my eyes…. And there is a plaque that I got for my friend Fred that reads….”INDECISION…may or may not be my problem.”

Today’s one line… ”The light at the end of the tunnel… it may or may not be an oncoming train.”

Telling a bull form a bear… Investing 101
Or read Dave’s book!

Stuffing it under your mattress?
Well, that not going to make it. So how do you plan for the times ahead… look behind. That’s what my dad did and he got hit by a bus.

You say you are invested in the market and the last time you did hi-tech became low tech and you took it in the pants. Then let’s play it real safe and buy stock in an energy company and you made a move into ENRON!!! Ever recoiling- you even played it safer purchasing real estate investments playing on low mortgage interest rates which were not fixed and now the roof is leaking.

Then in a real state of panic wanting to you hid the remaining 2 cents of your nest egg you put it in a hi interest paying account at a place called Bear Streans…

It’s been one crap shoot after another. Why didn’t you invest in oil drilling partnerships back in the 70s and 80’s? But you did and it was one dry hole after another. Oh, yeah I missed one, junk bonds they are now HOT again so says HGTV channel, you can wall paper your bathroom with them.

Here’s here my point, you can tell a bear from a bull by looking at it’s underwear! I mean you really need to take a closer look at things.. is it a wolf in lambs clothing, by the way we’re having lamb for dinner. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck it’s not a duck it’s either a bull or a bear.

So here is how to rebound… go to your dentist and have them remove your 12 gold crowns … That $12,000. You take your new found wealth to the local gas station and purchase a tank of gas. With the remaining $2.50 you go to McDonalds and have their $1.00 menu meal… trouble is without teeth it hard to swallow what’s happening to our economy.

Just take a long peek before purchasing your new gold mine. “This is to good to be true, it can’t miss” Guess what? you are looking at another duck.

Some much for inter cultural stuff…

International relations are for exporters, currency speculators, and ex pats. For the rest of us tourist it’s a simple change of views and clothing. That is if you have packed the right stuff. I feel that if more people got off their duffs and got out there… there would be less of a held threat held on both sides. For in most cases they are us! There are many friendly faces all over place…. All we have to do is overlook the daggers while we are holding our hands high, all kidding aside…

Many a year ago we hosted an Australian in our home for a week and John became one of our family. Now the Aussies have never posed a threat to our country nor Wisconsin or Iowa. If the U. S. ever got it in it’s head to invade the ‘down under’ - I’d be the first to have the powers to be committed. It would be like declaring war on Winnipeg, sorry Chris.

There is a time and place for logical thinking.. .I just wished it would show it’s ugly head. I keep telling you all that Barry Goldwater had it right but no one ought into the truth he was selling. The truth is a tough sale, just like condo’s on Lake Minocqua. There hasn’t been straight thinking in the State Department for 40years no matter whose been in office.

So what’s the answer to skyrocketing gas and food prices and the devaluation of the dollar…. Eat more cheese, have a big one then you’ll have to spend half the day on a tread mill rehabbing and not watching CNBC nor hearing the cheery news on CNN.

And that’s my opinion and if you don’t agree than you too can start your own blog which no one will read just like this one.