People Magazine… 6/30

Rosebud is hooked on them. She has friends and a daughter who save their copies for her. Why? To me it’s a complete waste. Maybe it wouldn’t be if we had an outhouse outback and People magazine could take the place of our old Sears catalog. Plus I have to ask, how much more can a person handle about Julia, Jessica, Britney, Brad, Jack and all the lala land (Hollywood) people?


Come on now! In the magazine’s first years they actually had articles covering real people along with the lala folks. I guess New York people want to hear about L.A. people and the opposite.

There are over 290,000 million people living in the US and the vast majority of them live off the two coast lines. Their stories are just as interesting as who ran off with who, or more so! But the people at PEOPLE who should be doing some digging for stories should travel "inland". Instead it’s the easy way out staffing two offices N.Y. & L.A. and rewriting news releases from studios and agencies.

So let’s you and I come out with a new magazine… REAL FOLKS. I am open for suggestions as to some people that we could cover… Like what’s O.J. up to now? Some of the articles could be… Who is the mayor of St. Louis and does anyone care? The 5 worst towns in America to live, The 20 ugliest folks in Amercia, and How to start your own junk yard and drive your neighbors bonkers.
Gad this publication could be big almost as big as MAD Magazine.

A little fire wood…. 6/29
Here in the north it’s been a good 6 winters without our average of 48" of winter snow. For several years there wasn’t enough snow cover for the Illinois snowmobilers and they went elsewhere. As for April showers that bring May flowers, forget about it, zip and as I’ve mentioned before the lakes levels are way down. Call it a thirty-year cycle or fifty-year cycle but we as well as other parts of the country have lacked rain/snow or any other forms of moisture.

This real didn’t hit home till I started looking for dead trees to take down for next year’s fireplace wood. Once again I had my toy chain saw along with my younger brother who is spend some time up here helping us. As we walked the acres we both were dishearten at the amount of oak and birch that were standing leafless, dozen upon dozens of dead trees.

It didn't take long before my toy Mac saw went on strike and into town my brother went for me and came back with a real chain saw, a Hasquvana. (SP). The short of this story is that my brother once again went zonkers. He’s known for his intensity. There are now three to four years of wood on the ground that could heat half of Hazelhurst, (population 50,000) and we are only 1/3 of the way through cutting. But the real work is to come hauling, splitting and stacking. Maybe I could hire a few dozen fellows from places south or across the pond to help with the task, on second thought I need the exercise.

"A Walk in the Wood"… 6/28

It’s a book by Bill Byerson, a Des Moines native, so he can’t be half -bad. His book was a a gift from my son in law and I felt myself drawn to do something like it on a smaller scale, very smaller. However, don’t be miss led. Byerson’s walking the Applicaian Trail with an out of shape friend isn’t the best thing to do unless your have been in the fitness center for five months straight.

For people like you and me who haven’t a clue, day dreaming about a high adventure in the great outdoors is about as close as you want to get to wood tricks and their friends. Here is my ideal of a walk in the woods, it’s on water…

This p.m. after working 8 hours in our local resale shop (helping those that can’t, can) we came home for a fast dinner, burned burgers. After a brief evening storm we went canoeing on the lake. Katie our Springer was our guide. Rosebud was in the front and did the paddling and I sat back guiding the craft over t rock bars and a stump to where our loon family was having a late dinner, lake perch.

The sun was setting , it was a grand site watching the adult loons feed their chicks. Yesterday, we had bid a dear friend goodbye who was in here visiting from California… as we said farewell, she told us how lucky we were living where we were.

This isn’t Bill Byerson’s trail in the woods. It’s something better. So for all those who work their buns off in Des Monies, Omaha, Joliet, Fairfield and the bigger cities just to spend a two week vacation with us in our woods, thank you for not moving here or other wise we’d be another northern Chicago suburb. But with our new to Super Wal-Mart in the offing maybe we will be, progress sucks.

Warren …. What were you thing?

So Bill Gates gets a check in the mail for $54 billion! That leaves poor Warren Buffet with only $12 billion to get by on in his old age living in Omaha. The whole state of Nebraska isn’t worth $12 billion. This deal is like John D. writing a check to JP Morgan then under table Morgan turning over his banks to Rockefeller. Then both gents writing off their entire estates as a charitable deduction. The road to hell is pave with poor suckers like our selfs.

Many say his SMALL gift is going to worth while causes… Come on now, that only leaves $12 billion for poor Warren to live on? I’d live in Omaha for just half the $12 billion. You could but New Zealand, Ecuador throw in the Ivory Coast and Cuba and still have change for a fleets of busses, make that Lear Jets.
When Enron moved from Omaha and headed south to Houston something else happened in that heartland town, a little insurance company with a talking lizard took over half the world. The Walton family have their hands on the other half and I don’t mean John Boy’s folks.

In short two good friends got together and exchanged wallets. That’s their side of the fence. On my side of the fence some days I have to dig in my change jar just to have enough for a cup of coffee. As for boat gas, I am doing a lot of rowing…

Sweethearts…

Several days ago we were on the deck having a night cap watching the loons swim by bidding the sun farewell. We, meaning a dear life-long friend who had brought her granddaughter east for summer camp. Our first daughter was named for her. Rosebud and I opened the chat up with Q & A time…. How is the family? Any luck selling the ranch? Then there are the obvious ones… How are the children? How’s your husband?

While these two very important ladies caught up on life since our last visit with one another, I became lost in the fact that these two were my sweethearts (other than my daughters and grand daughters). My friend was my first true friend who happened to be a female. As teens we shared many hopes and dreams but life came along and carried us in different directions.

Even today when things go amuck, I can call her and she sets me straight. When our daughter’s health was on the line and I was in the dumps, a simple call to her helped me turn things around up stairs. Few months later a true miracle happened and I knew once again that she had it right. There is no written law that a person of a different gender can’t be a one of your best friends.

Then there is really my best friend, Rosebud, the Mrs.. She knows what I am going to do before I do it…terrible problem but it’s kept me out of harms way more than once. So as the sun sat, I raised my glass and toasted two very special people… my sweethearts.

Musical Networks….

It’s like musical chairs…
Katie is going to CBS; someone on the View is going to sit in her chair jumping networks to NBC. Then someone who is on a morning show on one network is headed to another evening news flipping to PM and networks. It’s getting to be that you’ll turn on the TV have no idea which station you are on, what time zone or planet yyou parked your fanny on.

Brokaw hung it up, Rather hung it up and the major’ networks ratings at news time are in the tank. Some people don’t get it especially the stockholders at Time Warner with CNN headed so far to the left they have been running in circles chasing their tails.

I sometimes think the only way to watch TV news is to turn on the Tonight Show getting Jay Leno’s spin on things being able to laugh at our self’s. Not everyone wants dark news all the time. Believe it or not there are some really "good" news stories out here but that would require a little on their parts. Then did you ever notice that you can flip news broadcasts , station to station, and it’s the same story different reporter?
Yes there are other spins on the things esp. on Direct TV or cable but that means trying to find the remote and that’s a lot of work.

AN EAGLE… and not on the golf course

Out on the lake right off our dock are floating a family loons, a mom, a pop and two fuzz balls, small chicks the size of your fist. A small wake trails behind them on the quite flat lake surface. Something is out of place. For the family is swimming tight together and the male loon is calling in alarm. Rightfully so… high above are circling a pair of eagles.

In the past dozen years the loons on our lake and elsewhere have been a lot more on the alert. Their main problem in the past was raising the chicks from eggs through the first four months. In the past it was raccoons and crows went after the eggs on the nest prior to hacking. They were the only threat for man had taken care of their biggest threat, the eagle. Our use of TDT had caused the eagle to fall off the map. And it got to the point where we couldn’t take pot shots at them.

But now the eagle is back and the loons now have to highly attend to their young through all summer’s growth period and into the fall. There is no more flying off to another lake to socialize or fly into town for a movie. Plus, you just can’t get a trust worthy chick sitter anymore.

Life is tough being a parent in this day and age.
So hats off to all Mom and Pops, keep up the good work.

Did I miss anything important?

It an old saw but it’s true, you should have been here yesterday. Or …you pay a buck and play your state lotto picking five numbers and you hope to win big. The lotto comes and the guy in front of you draws the winning numbers, your boat came in but it was a submarine.

Play the horses, play the numbers, walk outside in a lightening storm with an iron rake. There are many things we all can hope for but Lady Luck always finds a home next door. Farmers hope for moderate weather, oil drillers hope to hit the big one and in all cases the word used is hope… rather a weak word for crossed fingers.

Having been slapped in the face thirty some years ago with something out of our control, many things that were important to us and to a few others became secondary. While we were trying to gain control the world continued to spin but for us we now held a different perspective. Now, in 2006 looking back on things I asked myself self , " What did we miss?" We hoped for the best for our little family but fate was steering our car.

The answer is nothing, we didn’t miss a thing. Maybe we gained a lot more than people when the fire is hot than those whose bounce along life without a road blocks to tip over. The next time you stub your toe think of it as a mild learning event. Then smile under your breath an as you swear inwardly!

Road Trip #8

This one was a very short one, just up the road. We were called for grand parent duty, an over night’er in Ashland. The drive up this time was much more pleasant than the last November’s trip in an early season white out. Young Miss Claire, 7 weeks and counting, needed TLC while her parents went to a friend’s wedding.

From our last visit to see Miss Claire several weeks ago, she has grown an extra foot, not literally. It least that was my perception of her and speaking of seeing things… it’s amazing how one person can see a thing or event and another person standing (or sitting) along side sees absolutely zip, or see a zebra when it was a hippo. Case in point…

We left Ashland early the next AM heading east on US 2 which is heavily wooded and offers some really neat views of Lake Superior. There wasn’t much traffic heaing east. Rosebud and I were quietly thinking about the perfect day we had just spent… bingo, when up head a large black bear was lumbering across the highway. And I don’t mean cutting wood.

It was big and could have left a lasting impression on the front of our car… I told Rosebud in a rather very loud voice "LOOK!!!!!!" And once again she missed the whole show, missed seeing Yogi the bruin. I guess my training as a Professional Driver has raised my attention span and view range well above the average mortal human being. Of course there are other minor flaws that I myself carry however, time and space are limited. Once again the Mrs. missed the show but it amazes me how she catches the little stuff like beer on my breath?

Cereal Boxes…
There was a time when they put prizes in Cracker-Jack boxes, not any more. They don’t even put peanuts in with the popcorn. The stuff now comes in a bag not a box. Then along came the giants of merchandisers, Kellogg and Disney. Kellogg wants to sale cereal and Disney wants to promote its movies.

Well, let’s put prizes into cereal boxes right where Cracker-Jacks left off! The movie Cars is just out and when you purchase a box of Frosted Flakes you get one of the car characters from the movie… another grand marketing ploy as old as the hills, i.e. Cracker Jacks.

I was in our favorite market yesterday and happened to look at the prices of Frosted Flakes with and with out the Cars give away… right! 40 cents more for a 10cents toy wrecker from the movie Cars! What a deal! …
As for me it was back to my heart healthy Oatmeal.

Demo Clubs….
I went into our Golf Pro Shop and asked if I could hit several of the new big mega-drivers. Our Pro carries five brands. So out to the practice range I went with a huge bucket of balls and five drivers. The thought in mind was to find the right straw in the pile of pins. There has to be a club out there that will straighten out a monster slice that I’ve refined over the last 30 years.

I even took along a note pad and pencil.
This was to be a scientific logical test and I wanted to hit five balls per club and record each swing and where the ball went. The pro even gave me a tip on how to hit a straight one. He told me to try to use the same type of swing on each shot with each club.

So I hit five balls with each and made notes on each hit. Then I repeated the process for good measure. One of the clubs was even designed to overcome a slice problem (balls that head due right). I didn’t even look at the brand before hitting, only afterward. There were different lofts the angle of the club face that either sends the ball higher of lower. Then there are different flexes in the club shafts depending on your strenght and speed of swing. This is getting complicated ! Here the one truth of golf ...you get on the practice range and things come together then you get on the course and things fall apart, sounds like life itself?

I was actually sweating after the 4th series of hits. I then returned the clubs went into the Pro Shop demo bag and ordered a beer to review my note…….
Conclusion: it’s not the golf club but the golfer that’s the problem. So as I play my next game, I still must remember to yell out "FOUR" after each drive for I always practice safe club and use a club cover.

Read the book…
I was finally was dragged to the DaVinci Code. What can you say that hasn’t already been in the papers or run through the sawmill? Well, here's mine... first Tom Hanks sure didn't look like Leonardo and second it’s been two thousand years since some event in a backwater town occurred that is still ringing bells today and caused a few hundred wars.

It’s also been 1600 years since a group of old men sat around and decided to come up with a book called the New Testament telling us what we should think about that long ago event. Then it was back another 4500 years when things started shaking and baking in the Old Testament.
Where am I headed with this?

What if they ALL got it wrong? In Brown’s book, (not related to Tom) the grail is a female, Mary M. Deal or no deal? Bite or no bite? So let’s take this a step further. The old folks in Israel kept shooting themselves in the foot when they got things wrong. This occurred once or twice every chapter, then God, he, would send them into bondage, flood them out and then hit them with sending hale and brimstone.

There I did it! I used the male name for God and that’s my point. Go further back to man’s real beginnings, the cave days, and in all probability they got it right. To them the creator was a female gender. She was mother earth, creator of all, a softer gentler persona. However, don’t tell that to the people blown out to sea in a tidal wave, nailed by Katerina or those rocked by earthquakes. She (Mother God) can be a real SOB.

So here’s my "Code"….. He or She is neither, just a big thing that pulling strings
and do you know what? I don’t care!

Our bus ride is a very short one and there is sunshine out side my window !
Just enjoy the day, have a nice ride for we will all know the truth before we know it.
Tomorrow? The lighter side, more tales from the fairway.

What are you selling? 6/13

Even the best of us have something that we are trying to peddle and I don’t mean a bike. Most people are trying to sell something daily in one form or another, selling vacuums, autos, insurance, food or even wellness. My mother use to sell World Book door to door. Her encyclopedias were filled with facts and ides. Later in life and I sold ideas for a living . Want to buy one?

At present I work part time at a golf course selling the idea that you are having a great time losing golf balls and acting if you are not frustrated in doing so.

Many people make a living selling pie in the sky and this takes many forms, be it land, limited partnerships, stocks (hi Matt), oil drilling programs or shares in thoroughbred racing horses. Here’s a question… how do you tell your accountant and or the IRS agent that you own the rear end of a horse and that you’d like to depreciate it?

But the most amazing thing is that for every sham there is usually a line of buyers standing in line to make an offer and "lose" a fast buck. There are dozens of off the wall deals most are shady at best. But every once in a while someone comes up with a truly honorable one like turning corn into gasoline.

Then there was the MAN that made water into wine. He and his followers had good intentions selling their line of thought that somehow got side-tracked many a time over the years. But through the test of time one good thought and one good deed can make many lights shine.
So what are you selling today?
Let’s hope it’s a smile!

Up early in the AM again...
What’s happened to my internal alarm clock. It’s on the fritz again. 4:30 am and the thing goes off and I am ready for another rip roaring day filled with a half dozen mishaps.
For the life of me I can’t sleep past 5:30.
And it just not this year.

Each spring hits and that old alarm inside keeps firing away earlier each day as the mount of daylight increases. I think inside my head a small part is telling me not to waste time and like a squirrel let’s go on a nut hunt, you know bust your buns in the summer – sleep all winter.

Trouble is that by mid afternoon the tank runs out of gas and I have to slap myself silly to stay awake. Yesterday while I was working behind the counter in the Pro Shop at our golf course,
the fog came in and I started to nod -off, even though I was checking some one in. It’s not very nice to snore in front of customers especially when they are the owner’s family.

Maybe if I stayed out later at night I’d sleep later in the morning? Ya that’s it… I’ll try this one out on Rosebud (the Mrs.) maybe she’ll bite on this one that is if I throw in a "It’s about my health deal…"

Miss chain saw 2006...

I have this hobby chain saw, it’s a McCullogh and it works about have the time. It was after our old Homelite saw gave up the ghost that I happened to see it (her) on sale at a Kmart store which was going out of business... buyer beware!

Mac’s are only a step above a Matel toy saw which you give a five year old to play with, no teeth and you go voooom, not the saw. So in the middle of my annual two weeks of winter wood gathering my semi new Mac takes a two-hour break. It would not run. This is right after I had given it a new bar, chain and spark plug. She Mac is very temperamental. Two log cuts and the chain loosens right up and dulls and I have to file the teeth just like my dentist.

Well, this time it wouldn’t restart! I pulled and pulled and not a pop. How could my saw treat me this way when I lavished such new things upon her. You’d think my saw had a female side. So I did the male thing, I pitched it on the ground and went home in a huff.

Hours later the sky darken and it looked like rain, then I remembered, " the saw!" It going to be ruined in the rain.
So I walked out into the woods, found where I left the saw and in my head a small voice told me what a stupid thing. I think the saw read my mind for in one pull and she fired up.

Some hard edged things that you have use a lot seem to take on their own personality. Take Miss McCullogh she does her own thing and so do a few other things kicking around the old homestead.

To Wal-Mart or not?

Every town in America has come face to face with this question. Will the giant retailer take a bite out of your pocket? In the end each town has caved into the powers to be, some willingly.

Our town went through this a dozen or so years ago and the company built a small store and it did have a small impact. They hired a few locals for $2/ hour and within a few years it was goodbye to several small chain departments stores and five or six other smaller businesses and a drug store of two.

Now our little quaint town has grown with new stop lights and a few dozen condo’s developed by out of town bankers thinking our area would make a great retirement village.

To go along with this thought the king pins at Wal-Mart saw big dollars signs in one another’s eyes. Now want to build a giant super store which also bring a mass of franchises and burger stands…. So the reason why people come north to get away from the masses to enjoy peace, solitude, trees and lakes is now going to be paved over for a parking lot. When a Wal-Mart hits so do half a dozen other " come & go franchise businesses.

There use to be stars in our haven, now we have light defusion from dozens of street and parking lot lights. Some people are thrilled to shop at a Wal-Mart but the vast majority live in a different neighborhood., it’s not in their back yard. Good bye North Star, hello KFC.

Our own Triple Crown…
The Belmont Stakes are next, the third jewel of the Triple Crown. Well, years ago in a small sleep village on an island in the woods we ran our own triple crown races.

The entrance fee was small a PBR (a beer) and their wasn’t much too the training. You didn’t even have to hire a jockey. The key was picking out the right animal or it picked you out of the crowd.

The site of our triple crown were three bars in the area, Buck Jones’, The Cellar and Joe’s Marine Bar. Each place had it’s own well maintained race trace. The stating gate was a small dot in the middle on a white board. The finishing line was a 12" circle.

Each spring you’d take a walk in the woods with an old match box. After the walk you’d sit yourself down and examine yourself with a fine tooth comb. Without a doubt you’d bring back half a dozen prospects on your self or your clothing. You’d pick the three most active, place them in the matchbox and take then with you at bar time for the Running of the Ferns. But before leaving for town you’d have to pick out your family colors from finger nail polish and apply to your thoroughbred's back.
Yes Northern Wisconsin Tick racing is an art and...
no juicing up was allowed!

The hole is dug…
There is no turning back.
The die is cast.
It’s been two years in the planning, many meetings and now the contractors are busy doing things, the right things I hope.

Forty years ago my mother got it into her head that our little town needed a new church and not just any church. The town had Roman, Lutheran, Methodists and several other varieties of churches. However mother was raised in the east a stronghold of the Episcopal Church and while we her kids were growing up it was drilled into us.

Now years later I was caught rising a hand to be excused to go to the restroom when our good father asked for volunteers for a building committee to expand my mother’s quaint little church. I must admit that she was right. You offer something more than a large assembly hall and give people a purpose and they will come and open their hearts, giving their time and open their pocket books.

Our little church has seen the baptism of my children, a funeral of one, the wedding of two and the burial of my mother. The little stone building means a lot to my family and now after spending a lot of the congregation’s money on a new and improved plan for enlarging the place I’d better see that it’s done properly.

If not they’ll fine my bones next to Jimmy Hoffa and mother Ros will be kicking my hind end around for eternity. Sorry, Dave but a few trees had to go but next time up we’ll plant one. Join me and bring a shovel.

Firewood ….

It’s 78 degree outside and things are blooming. The last thought in your head should be doing stuff that reminds you of the "dark" side, winter. But sad to say now is the best time to be sawing and chopping on some standing dead oak. It will have 5 months to cure and be burnable come snow time. So it’s time for some real work, huff & puff time.

I’ve got the chainsaw 100% with a new bar and chain, gas and bar oil. In my back pocket are saw files and bar tightening tools. I even have small wedges and a hammer to get the chain unstuck when I happen to miss saw. Even my dog is ready to help in drawing away ticks and other unwanted bugs. All that training I put into her over last winter will pay off. She’ll be a perfect target.
I even have work clothes on not some of my better stuff which usually I ruin while working, which in turn gets me into trouble with the boss.

Yes I am set, but it looks like rain on one of the few days I’ve had off while working at the pro shop at our golf course. Tell you what, maybe this year I’ll purchase firewood. It may cost a little but think of what it will save…time, and most important wear and tear of the old body but then I miss having something to complain about, oh my aching back!

What’s the world coming to…

Instant light charcoal?
Easy opening pill bottles?
Clap hands light fixtures?
Talking elevators? Singing waiters?
Simple to use TV remotes.

Now I’ve got this car that will not mind, it has a mind of it’s own and it mis-behaves, a small computer malfunction? I tell it to go home at 9:30 pm and many a time it turns a deaf ear. That’s my car let alone the two females that live in my house and also have deaf ears. Either they are a lot smarter than I think or they are Irish. But who ever heard of an Irish Springer?

Then there are these college grads who spend years learning how to do things better, they are given a degree as a design engineer and are spent into the world not knowing how to tie their shoe laces. Case in point, two cycle 16 oz. oil cans. I should say bottles for they are formed out of plastic.

Years back all the cans had markings on the side letting you know how much oil you have in the can or how much oil you have poured into you gas tank, a simple idea that was forgotten. But my biggest peeve is the easy to open kid proof asprin bottles at which you take a hammer to open. Now they've changed the design on my chewing gum wrapper, you open it up and the sticks go flying. I am telling you this simple live isn't simple anymore.

The changing face….
Our local newspaper has a column, "Back through the Time". It’s a local history of small articles which graced the paper in ten to five year span’s going back to the 1890’s.
The paper's name is the Lakeland Times so back through the Times has a double meaning. Anyway, there are some early photographs of the northwards or lack of them due to Mr. Yawkee and Mr. Weyerhaeuser and their armies of Slavic human chain saws. There are numerous photos of lakeshores and resorts without a tree anywhere in sight. Many of the photos look like an A-BOMB TEST site., not that our modern loggers aren’t much better.

Now comes the problem for the author of Birch Bark Tales. The problem is tree pollen. Call it rose fever, springtime hay fever but for two week each year it’s running nose and sniffling eyes or is the other way round. We are in the middle of our white poplar tree pollen and green jack pine rain.

After the last big harvest of hard wood maple, oaks and even white pine the poplar and jack pine took off greening the place up for the last 80 years. I love seeing our wooded shores compared to the old striped land photo’s of the early 1900’s but for 10 days or 2 weeks and the poplar pollen, could you pass me the Kleenex? Bless you.